


Let it go

by NeoPG



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Anal Sex, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Established Relationship, First Time, Gentleness, Insecurity, M/M, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:15:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27450316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeoPG/pseuds/NeoPG
Summary: Haruki is waiting for Akihiko to come home. The longer he waits the more of his insecurities come up. Is he enough? Could he be seeing someone else?
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	Let it go

Haruki typed eagerly on his laptop. The deadline for his project work was getting closer. But the soft throb in his temples didn't help his progress. He needed a break. Some distraction would do him good. Then a thought came to him. ‚Didn't Aki want to come by?' He looked at his smartphone. ‚No message. Strange. He said he'd let him know when he was on his way.' They wanted to spend a nice evening together. That didn't happen too often and so Haruki was even more excited to spend time with his boyfriend. He massaged his temples and decided to go on the balcony to have a cigarette break. Once outside, he leaned against the cool railing and let his thoughts wander with the clouds of smoke. ‚Where is Aki? Had he forgotten that they wanted to meet-up? Did something come up? Maybe something happened to him?' His last thought sent a cold shiver down his spine. But his spiral of thoughts had not reached its end yet. ‚Was he meeting someone else? Maybe he had changed his mind about their relationship?' The throbbing in his head slowly turned into pain. His heart contracted from that last thought. 'We have been together for a few months now. But we have not done much more than kissing. Isn't that a little strange?' Haruki fiddled with a strand of his short hair, lost in thought. 'Maybe he doesn't find me attractive.' He looked down at himself. 'If I compare myself to him, then I really don't have much to offer. Who can compete with a man who looks like a come-to-life statue of a greek god?' The longer he hung on to this thought, the more self-doubt came over him. His vision slowly started to blur and a warm tear made its way across his cheek. Hastily and with a smothered laugh he wiped the wetness from his cheek. 'I am really pathetic. Now pull yourself together Haruki.' He tried to encourage himself. He went back inside the apartment, took a pain killer and laid down on the sofa.

When Haruki opened his eyes again, he noticed a blanket lying over him. He couldn't remember having put it over himself. As his senses slowly awoke from their twilight state, he heard noises coming from the kitchen. He crawled out from under the warm blanket and walked towards the kitchen. There he found his boyfriend standing by the stove with his back turned to him. His heart immediately began to beat faster. Before he could say anything, Akihiko turned to him. "Hey Haru." He greeted him and smiled. Now Haruki freed himself from his rigidity and stepped towards his beloved to hug him. He put his arms around Aki's waist and snuggled up to him. "Hello Aki." Now he also had to smile. "How's your head?" Akihiko inquired. "Better, thanks. But how do you know about my headache?" The bass player asked. "The pack of pain killers on the table told me." The drummer replied and gave his boyfriend a gentle kiss on his temple. Haruki felt his cheeks warm up. "Sorry for the delay, Haru. I was in the tunnel when there was a crash. It was total chaos. Well, I didn't have any reception there either. Otherwise I would have informed you." Aki explained and stroked Haruki tenderly over the head. He leaned into the touch and sighed comfortably. "So my kitten, what do you think about us eating something and making ourselves comfortable on the sofa?“ Akihiko teased his boyfriend. When Haruki heard this pet name, his cheeks turned an even darker shade of red. "Kitten? Really, Aki?" He replied. "You remind me of a kitten when you cuddle up to me like this. And I'm sure you soon would have started to purr." Akihiko replied with a grin. That made Haruki bury his face in his hands. "You're just terrible, Aki." He mumbled embarrassed.

When the fried noodles were ready, the two men sat down at the kitchen table and enjoyed the warm food. Afterwards they cleaned up the kitchen and sat down on the sofa as discussed. "Would you like to watch a movie?" Akihiko wanted to know. "Well, I don't feel like watching a movie right now." Haruki answered. "Would the kitten prefer to cuddle?" Teased Akihiko again. Haruki looked at him and noticed the slightly reddened cheeks of his boyfriend. 'Sweet.' Thought the bass player and stuck out his tongue in response. "Is the kitten getting cheeky? I cannot tolerate that." Akihiko let his boyfriend know and pricked him in the side. Haruki squealed. „That was mean. Stop it, Aki." He tried to fight back. But this awakened Akihiko's fighting spirit even more. "Perhaps I must teach the kitten proper manners?" With these words he started to tickle Haruki. He giggled and tried to put some distance between himself and his boyfriend. But Akihiko moved up and worked on his sensitive sides without mercy. "S-stop, A-Akihiko. I c-can't breathe." Said Haruki, who meanwhile lay on the sofa. Akihiko bent over him and looked at him with feigned seriousness. "Then you're a good kitty now?" He asked. Haruki gasped for breath and nodded energetically. For a moment, the two only looked at each other. Akihiko raised his hand and removed a stray strand of hair from Haruki's face. He blushed immediately and Akihiko smiled softly. 'How cute he is.‘ Aki thought to himself and caressed his boyfriend's still reddened cheek. 'Don't go away. Please touch me some more.' Haruki pleaded in his thoughts. But he didn't manage to express his request. "Haru." Haruki looked up at his boyfriend with a fast beating heart. He looked at him questioningly. "Akihiko, do you find me attractive? I mean... physically." Haruki felt his cheeks burn up again. But he just had to know. Akihiko was visibly confused by this question. "What? Why are you asking me this? Of course are you attractive." He replied. "Well, we've been together for a few months now but haven't really gotten much closer ... in an intimate way. I thought it was because you didn't like me ... I mean ... my looks." Haruki explained quietly and lowered his eyes. "Haru, I'm crazy about you. Please believe me. I have made some mistakes in the past. But this time I want to do it right. I held back because I was waiting for you. I thought that when you were ready for the next step, you'd show me." Akihiko explained in a calm voice. ‚I'm such an idiot.‘ Haruki thought ashamed. But Akihiko didn't let him go. He put his finger under Haruki's chin and raised his head to look into his eyes again. Slowly, Akihiko moved closer to his boyfriend and carefully put his lips on Haruki's.

The initially timid kiss soon became more passionate as Akihiko brushed the tip of his tongue over Haruki's lower lip. He immediately opened his lips to allow his boyfriend's tongue to enter. When Akihiko let his hand slide under Haruki's sweater, he groaned into the kiss. "Haru, is that okay?" Akihiko wanted to know. The addressed man nodded immediately. "Do you want to continue?" Akihiko asked further and paused in his movement. "Yes, I do." Confirmed Haruki and put his hand onto Akihiko's neck to involve him in another kiss. After a while, Akihiko detached himself from his lover's lips to cover his neck with gentle kisses. Haruki ran his hand through Akihiko's short hair. And when Aki bit gently into his neck, he pressed his body even closer to him. "Mhh...Aki." The bass player groaned. "Do you like that, baby?" The drummer asked in a deep voice and licked over the sensitive part of his neck. A pleasant shiver ran through his body and his hand moved under Aki's shirt to caress his back. Akihiko sat up and took off his shirt. Haruki lay motionless and stared at him. "Are you okay, Haru?" Aki asked and the uncertainty in his voice could not be ignored.

„Yeah, sure." Replied Haruki. 'He's so beautiful.‘ He thought as he gazed across his friend's exposed torso. "You may touch me, if you like." Akihiko tore him from his thoughts. Timidly, Haruki stretched out his hand towards him and caressed his chest with his fingertips. Then he moved into a sitting position to be closer to his boyfriend. Akihiko didn't remain inactive and grabbed the hem of his sweater to take it off. Haruki noticed this and froze. His fear not to be attractive to Akihiko was present again. "Is it too much for you?" Akihiko asked carefully. Haruki hesitated briefly and took the sweater off himself without further ado. With closed eyes, he sat in front of his boyfriend. Then he felt a warm hand sneaking around his waist and pulling him forward. Haruki came to sit on Akihiko's lap. "You are so beautiful." Akihiko whispered into his ear. "And you smell delicious." He added in a hoarse voice and put his lips back on his boyfriend's neck. Haruki tilted his head a bit further to the side to give his beloved better access.

Haruki enjoyed the caresses of his boyfriend and pressed his crotch against his beloved one‘s. He felt that Akihiko was as aroused as he was himself. "Aki." He said in a husky voice. "Hmm?" He breathed into his ear. "Shall we perhaps... to the bedroom?" Haruki asked embarrassed. Akihiko rose immediately and carried Haruki into the bedroom without hesitation. Arrived there, he laid his boyfriend onto the bed and crawled on top of him. He started to cover his chest with gentle kisses.

Arriving at his nipple, he let his tongue run over it. When his piercing came into contact with this sensitive part of his body, Haruki groaned. "Ahhh." Akihiko looked up to him and grinned. "You like that." Startled, Haruki put his hand on his mouth to suppress any further noises. Of course, Akihiko didn't let him go and moved his arm to the side. "Don't, Haru. Please don't hide from me. I want to hear you." He spoke gently but firmly and continued his way down Haruki's chest to his belly. When he had reached the waistband of his trousers, he looked up to his beloved again. "May I?" Akihiko asked now. Haruki looked at his boyfriend with eyes veiled in lust and just nodded. Akihiko opened his pants and took them off including his underwear. Slowly he let his hands slide over Haruki's slender legs. He shivered under this touch and stretched out his arms to him. Akihiko opened his pants and noticed how Haruki's gaze followed his movements. He got up from the bed and took off his remaining clothes. Haruki didn't want to just watch anymore and closed the distance to his boyfriend. Tentatively, he stroked Akihiko's hard member with his hand. He groaned instantly and put his lips back on Haruki's. Their tongues danced with each other and the kiss became more and more intense. Haruki let himself fall backwards onto the bed and pulled Akihiko with him. He lay down between his spread legs and let their hard members rub against each other. This contact made both men groan. "Aki, I want to have sex with you." Haruki confessed breathing heavily. "Mhhh... Haru. I want you so bad.“ Akihiko replied and reached into the nightstand drawer to take out a condom and lubricant.

When he opened the tube, Haruki sat up and watched his movements. Akihiko looked at him. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to." He assured him. "No, that's not it." Haruki averted his gaze again and chewed nervously on his lower lip. Akihiko put his hand on his cheek and made him look at him again. "Haru, speak to me." Begged the drummer. "Well, I... " the bass player started and his cheeks were once again adorned with a soft blush. "I've never done this before." He said quickly and buried his face behind his hands again. After a moment of silence, he felt two warm hands around his wrists, gently removing his hands from his face. Haruki didn't dare to look at his boyfriend. Too big was the shame. "We are going slow and you can say 'stop' anytime and I will stop immediately.“ Akihiko tried to calm him down. He put his thumb on Haruki's lower lip. "Please stop that. You will hurt yourself. But I just want you to feel good." To emphasize his words, Akihiko replaced his thumb with his lips and kissed his boyfriend tenderly. "I trust you, Aki. Please let’s make love." Haruki's words struck right into his heart. Never would he have dreamed to hear such words coming from that amazing human being in front of him. Haruki managed to sneak into the depths of his heart where no one ever has been before. He would do everything to make this experience as beautiful as possible for his Haru. With this silent promise he opened the tube and spread some gel onto his fingers. "I will prepare you now. Please tell me if it hurts or if you want to stop." Haruki nodded and pulled his boyfriend back on top of him. Akihiko positioned his finger at Haruki's entrance and carefully exerted some pressure to penetrate him. He felt how tense his boyfriend was. "Everything ok?" He wanted to know from Haruki. "Mhm. It just feels a little strange." He explained. When Akihiko's finger was all the way inside him, he slowly began to move it. He stroked through Haruki's golden strands with his other hand and nibbled on his earlobe.

When Akihiko felt that the resistance was decreasing, he added a second finger. While he moved the two fingers inside of Haruki, he observed his reactions closely. Haruki's breath sped up and he looked for support on Akihiko's shoulders with his hands. His eyes were shining and his reddened lips were slightly parted. Akihiko could not get enough of this sight. He accelerated the movements of his fingers and was rewarded with another groan of his boyfriend. "Ahh... Akihiko." Aki could no longer suppress his own arousal and rubbed his hard member against Haruki's hip. How he would love to be inside Haruki immediately and feel him as intensely as never before. But he could not risk to hurt him. He would never forgive himself if he did so. "Aki, please... more ..." Breathed his beloved sensually. How could he resist him. "Soon, Haru."

He assured him and inserted a third finger. After he finished preparing his boyfriend, he removed his fingers and set about preparing himself. When he put the condom on, he noticed his slightly trembling hands. ‚Am I really that nervous?‘ Akihiko asked himself confused. After adding a generous amount of lube, he repositioned himself between the legs of his beloved. Haruki looked at him with glassy eyes and stroked his cheek. "Are you ready?" Akihiko asked. "Please, Aki. I want to feel you." He replied almost pleading. Akihiko pressed the tip of his hard member against Haruki's entrance. Carefully, he tried to break through the resistance of his muscle ring. "Nghh." It wasn't a lustful sound coming from Haruki. Akihiko stopped immediately and looked into his eyes. Tears were gathering up. "Haru, try to relax. Then it will get better right away." Akihiko spoke and spread small kisses on his face and caressed his thigh soothingly. Haruki visibly relaxed and put his hands behind Akihiko's neck. "I am ok. Please continue." He said. Akihiko complied with his request and penetrated him carefully. He watched Haruki but couldn't see any sign of pain on his face. When he was completely inside, he stopped his movements. He wanted to give Haruki time to get used to him. "Hey, are you ok? Are you in pain?" Akihiko asked anxiously. Haruki opened his eyes and smiled at him. "I'm good. Just give me a moment, okay?" He replied.

Akihiko needed all his willpower not to move his hips. It felt too good to finally be inside Haruki. He instead decided to kiss his beloved. Their tongues played and teased each other. Haruki loves his kisses and the piercings only increased his lust. "Aki, you can move now." He let his boyfriend know. He reacted immediately and slowly began to move inside him. "Mhhh... Haru. You feel so good.“ Breathed Akihiko as he kissed along his jaw. Haruki let his hands wander over Akihiko's back. He still couldn't really believe that they were making love. How often had he imagined that. And now he looked up and saw Akihiko above him. His green eyes were darker than usual. Pupils dilated with lust. He could feel his hot breath on his face. "Aki, more please." He pleaded. Without hesitation, the person addressed accelerated his movements. He grabbed Haruki's leg and put it around his waist. The new angle didn't seem to be ineffective because Haruki's reaction followed immediately. He clawed his hands into Akihiko's shoulder blades and moaned. "Ahhh. Yes, Akihiko." He might have found his sensitive spot. "Does that feel good, Haru?" He asked, breathing heavily. "Aki, that feels amazing. Please don‘t stop." Akihiko sped up the pace of his thrusts again.

Haruki's hands continued their way down to Akihiko's butt. He grabbed it as if he could push Akihiko even deeper inside. It felt indescribable to feel him like that. It was as if every fiber of his body was vibrating. He wished that this feeling would never end and at the same time he longed for release. The pulling in his groin was a clear sign that the latter would happen soon. Akihiko groaned and gasped over him and his thrusts became more erratic. He, too, seemed to come closer to his climax. Haruki clung to the sheets and moaned indignantly. He felt how Akihiko put one hand into his own and placed the other into his hair. Then it happened. He arched his back, pressed his face into the pillow and welcomed his orgasm with one last groan. The erotic sight of his boyfriend and the contractions around his hard member also made Akihiko climax. When the last waves of pleasure have subsided, Akihiko let himself fall beside his beloved. Except for the breathing of the two men, nothing could be heard in the room. After a moment, Haruki felt Akihiko's lips on his forehead. "Be right back." He whispered and left the bedroom. A few minutes later, Haruki felt something wet on his stomach. He opened his eyes and saw Akihiko cleaning his stomach with a wet cloth. After that, he laid down next to him again and pulled him into his arms. Pleasantly, Haruki nestled himself into his body and sighed comfortably. Akihiko let his hand wander through Haruki's silky strands and gently lifted his head a little to kiss him tenderly on his lips. When their lips parted again, Haruki snuggled up to his boyfriend and closed his eyes. Shortly afterwards, both men fell asleep holding each other. No words were necessary at that moment. Their touches, which were full of love, did the speaking. And Haruki was no longer tormented by his doubts. He did let them go with the clouds of smoke hours ago.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading my story. I really hope that you liked it. I would be very happy about a feedback. Constructive criticism is also appreciated;)


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